Attack The Problem Not The Person

altuckerbooks — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 04:41:34 +0000

When there’s conflict in your relationship, do the two of you attack the problem or each other?

Something I learned just a few weeks ago:

Problems sometimes require you to be aggressive and tenacious. On the other hand, people require you to be gentle and patient.

What do think would happen is you began attacking the problem, instead of your teammate?

Remember: Creating meaningful and enjoyable relationships is the goal.

Your friend,

Algernon

Find practical Relationship Cultivation Tools online at www.AlTuckerBooks.com

The New Golden Rule

altuckerbooks — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 06:37:14 +0000

I’m sure you’ve heard of the Golden Rule – Treat others the way that you want to be treated. In my experience, practicing the Golden Rule is key to keeping unnecessary drama out of your life.

However, this practice does very little when it comes to creating a meaningful and enjoyable relationship. It’s expected by most people that you’ll be kind and considerate. It’s common to be polite and respect the law or governing rules. But were talking about relationships – dynamic and oftentimes unpredictable.

Consider this one idea about people:

We crave custom-fit, tailor-made, just-the-way-we-like-it attention. But oftentimes, don’t get it. The person who can deliver things exactly the way we like them is valuable indeed.

The New Golden Rule is about personalized attention. This means getting to know others in such a way that you know exactly how to make them smile. It about asking questions and listening intently for key information that will increase your value almost overnight.

We’ve been educated to believe that a person who gets exactly what they want is “spoiled.” This may be true. However, I’d like to challenge you to try something for the next 30 days.

Here’s the 30-day Relationship Cultivation Challenge:

Ask your teammate what single thing you can begin doing to make their life more enjoyable (something that involves the two of you). Then give them this thing every time you have an opportunity. And make sure you’re doing it just the way they like it. Ask questions and make adjustments until you get it just right. And for clarification, doing this thing should not bring you harm or emotional pain. It should make you and your teammate feel good during the time you spend together.

After 30 days of giving your teammate exactly what they want, I’m positive you’ll discover that you’ve not only increased your value to your teammate, but you will have also positioned yourself to get exactly what you want from them.